Tonia

“I dont see myself like others see me. And I believe this is true for so many other women as well. It never matters what others tell you, you always have your own perceived vision of *who you are*.

I am a 34 year old fur mama of two and proud, small business owner. I spend day and night dedicated to my business and my clients. It was time I finally did something for myself. I was completely selfish in deciding to do this shoot and thats ok. I needed this for me. I needed to see the beauty in me that so many others could already see. Self confidence and self esteem are issues I have always struggled with.

Anyone who knows me truly knows that I’m the Plainest of Janes. My everyday signature look consists of NO makeup, leggings, tanks, messy hair and my infamous Crocs. Why? A combination of things, but mostly because its comfy, I have a job to do and I’ve got no one to impress. I was so excited to show the real me on camera and it was amazing!

The real challenge for me was “being serious/sexy” since I just dont do that. I specifically chose outfits to try and showcase this aspect. And Trish was amazing! Our personalities just clicked and it was on like Donkey Kong (except for the first 5 minutes that I apparently was too stiff)  I am obviously no model but Trish made me feel like one. We laughed and I snorted all while gaining so much confidence. Heck, the last time I was photographed was for my senior pictures (about 15 years ago!) And lets just say the experience was not the same. Senior pics are taken so you can give them to others. These pics were taken to give to myself.

Viewing the photos was very surreal for me. Trish wasnt even sure if I liked them, but the truth is that I overwhelmingly loved them all! Each one featured some quality that stood out from the others. I was just in shock. Was that really me? I look like that??

This is what people see when they look at me. Strong, independent, beautiful. And finally I saw this too.They dont see all the darkness that I see everyday. Failed career attempts. Failed relationships. Abusive relationships. Alcohol abuse. Rape. Failed business ventures. But this is MY past and it has made me who I am today. The experience of this photo shoot helped me embrace my past, the good and the bad.

Doing this shoot has made me proud of who i am- inside and out. If anyone is considering doing this shoot- do it! Its a once in a lifetime opportunity that you can cherish forever. Take care of yourself. Love yourself. Pamper yourself. Be you. Allow yourself to be happy.”